Childless
by Dlbn
Summary: My parents never really wanted children...


Dlbn: I do NOT own Loveless or anything in it. It all belongs to Yun Kouga. I do own Nisei's brother since it's not canon that he has one. Also, this fic follows Nisei's background story as it is shown in the manga, not my version of it that I had created before that information was released.

Volume 12 comes out August 12th, 2014. Reserve your copy today!

000

My parents never wanted children. That is something that I knew from the moment I was able to produce comprehensible thoughts. I am the second oldest child in the family; the second mistake they made. Well, the only one, I guess, is a better way to put it. See, they simply adore my elder brother for reasons I will never know. Maybe it is because he has been so well molded into the perfect son they want, that he can do no wrong in their eyes. And where does that leave little old me? Little old Akame Nisei, the second Akame child? It leaves me hiding in a never ending shadow that looms over me like my fate. Now, don't get me wrong. I do adore my elder brother, as much as a child _can_ adore their siblings. And yet, seeing as I am nothing like him, my parents don't seem to give a rat's fat ass about me at all. Maybe I'm overthinking things, but there are signs. How about when they divorced? Honestly, my parents never should have even _married_ in the first place, let alone produce offspring. I was given the choice of who to live with, and imagine my surprise when they were _relieved_ that I chose to live with neither of them? Father paid for the apartment I live in and now share with my Sacrifice, Seimei, but it's clear that that is the most I will get from either of them. The closest thing I will ever get akin to affection and love and care from my never doting parents.

They said it was even a miracle for my parents to have children in the first place. Mother was barren, or so they said, and yet she had managed to get herself knocked up not only once, but twice by my father. Upon learning my true name, I would joke to myself, Seimei, Sempai, and anyone else in our world that would listen that they were a former Unit suffering memory loss, and that their true name was most likely Childless. Sempai thought it was a stupid joke but would laugh anywhere, whereas Seimei would simply call me a fool and move on. My grandparents, though by now they've kicked the bucket, would say it was a miracle and that we should be happy that our parents had been able to create us. Happy was not exactly the word I'd use for my views on the topic, but my brother was ever respectful and thankful for it. Of course. Cocky little shit, he was, always striving and begging for mother and father's approval. Unfortunately for me, the last born, I wasn't about to receive anything from my parents in terms of respect and attention and all that nonsense.

To be honest, I'm _glad_ my parents didn't give a shit about me. Surely they wouldn't have been happy to see me use my powers when I first got them and was experimenting, had they ever paid attention to me. I'd often go into the woods behind our house and use my power to twirl leaves about in the air and, eventually, sticks and rocks as well. As I got older, my powers grew slightly, and I took to playing with my pencils in the same manner. I recall irritating Sempai when I used my powers in school one day, in the meeting room for our Game Club. My mother had almost walked in on me using my powers in my room one day after school, before the divorce. Luckily, she had believed the lie that I had been trying to juggle after being made fun of by a classmate for not knowing how to. She called me a fool and told me not to come down for dinner until I had cleaned my room from top to bottom, not just what I dropped.

Mother truly was a witch. No wonder father left her, really. No one wanted to talk about it or blame my mother, but we all knew it without anyone saying anything. He initiated the divorce. Because of her. She was controlling and manipulative (and they wonder _where_ I get it from), and loved to spend money we probably didn't have in reserves on lavish parties and exquisite jewelry. Honestly, I'm surprised either of them had enough money to get a divorce in the first place.

Now, that isn't to say that father wasn't to blame for the trouble of the family. I recall a few times where he'd yell at my mother when he thought my brother and I were busy playing video games in my room. He was too ignorant to realize that we knew about the fighting and were listening very carefully, trying to find ways to make them stop. I didn't really care all that much by the time I turned ten, since it was a constant thing for her to irritate him to the point of his screeching at her. My brother, however, was constantly listening in and making me do the same; hoping he could find out something that we had done and could make up for. I swear, he had the uncanny ability to blame himself for everything and anything that ever went wrong. Then again, they say all children have that ability. All but myself and, from what I knew of him as a child, Seimei. As we got older, he'd even throw himself into the middle of their fights and arguments; apologizing and begging them to stop fighting. I found the whole ordeal pointless. Adults fought. Big deal. I didn't think it would lead to divorce and, frankly, I didn't care if it did. I guess, even from the beginning, I was a sociopath. And it seems my brother was the opposite.

He was already out of the house when they divorced. It seemed like they had only stayed together because he was there, for him. When it came to me, however…well, apparently I just wasn't enough of a reason to stay together. Could you blame me for not wanting to live with either of them? It was either deal with my mother's nagging and impulsive shopping and partying all the time, or deal with my father's military-style control over every little detail and lack of self-control when angered. There was no 'lesser of two evils' to be picked there. My brother offered to let me stay with him instead, but I shot that down the moment it was suggested. I was under his shadow already, and I liked having it so far away from me. There's a reason I refuse to travel to Osaka, though I won't tell Seimei why that is.

Honestly, I don't have much going for me in this life anymore. I have my power, my name, sempai, and Seimei…well, I _had_ all those things. I tossed Mimuro aside, mainly to protect him from the Beloved shenanigans and trouble we'd cause. I told him we shouldn't see one another anymore. He respected that decision of mine, I could tell it hurt him. On some level, anyway, since human emotions aren't one of my fortes. I didn't want to do it but it was something that just had to be done if he were to stay safe. He was reckless and would charge into any situation without fear or hesitation, even it could end his life. After all, his name _was _Fearless, after all. He said Seimei would be the death of me. And he was right.

What is going to happen one I die? Sempai, and maybe his Fighter Mei, would mourn for my death. My parents would think I just ran off somewhere exotic, like the Bahamas or some shit, and my brother wouldn't necessarily _care_, but become curious for a week or so before something else grabbed his attention. Seimei would most likely be dead, as well, since it was more likely than not that something would happen while we were doing something together; while I was carrying out an order as he stood idly by as usual, not wanting to dirty his own hands.

People that don't want to have children should really be more careful when performing acts of reproduction with one another, really. Use protection, get a few wires snipped. Do _something_ so you don't have kids that you think of as a burden. It's pointless and rather cruel. 'Childless' truly _is_ my parents' name; they pushed away their youngest child and turned their oldest into a man way before it was time for him to even become one.

Grandmother called us miracles. My parents thought us burdens.


End file.
